The Hidden Almanac for 2014-03-28

A happy and blessed Feast of St. Arnulf to you all!

English: Wooden twigs used in an old-fashioned...

English: Wooden twigs used in an old-fashioned fence, in the Tiainen croft in Puolanka, Finland. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In today’s Hidden Almanac, Rev. Mord told us about some interesting events that occurred on this date in history: 1899, the Black Beast was seen in the city; Rosemary Jackson was born (no date given); 50 years ago, the snugglepig was introduced (think Cabbage Patch Kid).

In the garden, plants beets, cabbages, and lettuce right away.

Today’s sponsors were Red Wombat Tea Company, and Prickle-Ease Cactus De-spiner.

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The Hidden Almanac for 2014-03-26

A happy and blessed Feast of St. Procyon to you all!

English: A Common Raccoon (Procyon lotor) seen...

English: A Common Raccoon (Procyon lotor) seen near a bike path near Schererville. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In today’s Hidden Almanac, Rev. Mord told us about some interesting events that occurred on this date in history: the Council of 16 engaged in a quiet war against the squirrels (no date given); 87 years ago, the western quarter of the city was knee-deep in ferns; in 1995, refugees fled the kingdom of Lord of the Mountain, which suffered under the Great Lupercalia Drought.

In the garden, frost killed everything you just planted.

Today’s sponsors were Red Wombat Tea Company, and Bob’s Discount Stigmata.

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The Hidden Almanac for 2014-03-24

A happy and blessed Feast of Our Lady of the Olive Groves to you all!

Olives from Croatia

Olives from Croatia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In today’s Hidden Almanac, Rev. Mord told us about some interesting events that occurred on this date in history: in 1782, the next of the Hateful Decrees was passed; in 1988, Chronic Wasting Disease was identified in deer and elk herds; The Essential Vegetables of the West was published (no date given).

In the garden, plant things, even if it’s too cold, because you need to.

Today’s sponsors were Red Wombat Tea Company, and Stink-B-Gone Stinkbug and General Stench Remover

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Visitor

The show opens with a note from creator Joseph Fink (or is it? He has so many voices…) reminding us to check out a live show, and that Welcome to Night Vale will be at Emerald City Comic Con, including a live crossover with Thrilling Adventure Hour. Also, check out the previous live episode, “Condos”, and the fun stuff in the store.*

There is a visitor in Cecil’s studio. He’s not sure what it is, but it’s adorable! Cecil reminds us of Khoshekh, the cat who hovers in the men’s restroom. The new creature won’t drink the water Cecil offers, just stares at him. Its eyes are all black, and there other dots around its face that might also be eyes.  It makes cut noises. The creature waddles over to Cecil and lets him pet it. It purrs, sort of. Cecil squees as it hugs him; I am dubious about the nature of the hug. The creature bites Cecil. He runs to the bathroom to clean up, and calls into the show on his cell phone, thanks to some help from Intern Jeremy. The creature tried to follow him into the bathroom. He greets Khoshekh, just as the new creature finally breaks into the men’s room. Cecil hides, and asks Jeremy to call Animal Control and take us to the Weather… just as the creature attacks Khoshekh. Khoshekh gets badly hurt. Cecil kicks the creature, and he and Jeremy hold it down until Animal Control attempts to sedate it — but they can’t, because it’s a machine. Animal control takes Khoshekh to a hospital, but they think he’ll live. There will be less of him, but he’ll live. Cecil is heartbroken, and angry that he can’t get revenge.  His new program director, Lauren, wants to know why Cecil destroyed his birthday present. She and Daniel and the rest of the management team got him a StrexPet because he loves animals.

It’s not Cecil’s birthday. But he is determined to avenge Khoshekh.

In the news, controversy plagues the mayoral race. The current frontrunners, you’ll recall, are: the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home; and Hiram McDaniels, who is literally a five-headed dragon. McDaniels was recently acquitted of insurance fraud, but allegedly possesses a stolen truck. The faceless old woman’s origin is lost to history, and there’s no birth certificate — is she a US citizen?

In traffic, there is a silver pickup truck. A man is inside.He doesn’t remember things. He can, but he doesn’t. He deals only in the present. He doesn’t answer his phone.

On the community calendar: Night Vale Community Theater is holding auditions for Into the Woods. Those auditioning should bring night vision goggles, glass cutters, and ski masks to the bank. The Museum of Forbidden Technologies is opening a new exhibit on  thought crimes. Anyone who attends will be arrested immediately. On Friday, the Dark Owl Records staff will be wearing black pants and chain mail veils.  Saturday night marks  the opening of  new restaurant Tourniquet. LaShawn Mason, executive chef, was formerly sous chef for top-rated restaurant Shame. The food will feature a mix of molecular gastronomy and human remains. The prix fixe menu includes and appetizer, entrée, dessert, and an awareness of horrible, previously repressed memories. Sunday is.

Carlos and his team of scientists report about the house that doesn’t exist but seems to. The scientists have been monitoring John Peters, you know, the farmer, who has been standing alone in the house for weeks. The house is otherwise empty, except for various photographs of lighthouses. The scientists finally went up to door, but it was locked.  They shook the handle and knocked. John did not answer, but a woman, Cynthia, did. When she opened the door, the room was the same as the one John was standing in, but fully furnished.  Cynthia claims she’s lived in the house longer than the housing development has been in existence.

A word from our sponsor: Do you believe in a smiling god? What if the smiling god is smiling more than ever, with highly reflective teeth? And your reflection in those teeth is perfect? And your perfect self hates your imperfect self? And the god’s tongue reflects your imperfect self? Bleeding? What if you could kill  your imperfect self? StrexCorp can help!

The weather is “Cover Me Up” by Jason Isbell. It’s pleasant and mellow and not especially strange.

*Note, I don’t get any kickbacks from these links.  Yet. But if anyone wants to throw me a referral link, I wouldn’t say no…

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Wild Speculation: The Same Universe?

It is totally word of god that Ursula Vernon’s Hidden Almanac was inspired by Welcome to Night Vale:

A bunch of friends of mine kept telling me that I needed to listen to this podcast called “Welcome to NightVale” because it was delightful and weird. Several of them described it as “Lake Woebegone meets Lovecraft.”

[…]

It is not at all like Lake Woebegone meets Lovecraft. Lake Woebegone is the town in Garrison Keillor’s Prairie Home Companion, of which I happen to be a totally rabid fan* and I was going “Oh my god, do any of these people listen to Prairie Home Companion? Because this is not that! This is a very nice little community radio spoof, and PHC…is a radio variety show with a monologue. Seriously! And anyway, if you were going to do a parody on a Garrison Keillor show and make it freaky and weird, you wouldn’t even pick PHC because it’s too long and you’d have to be a master humorist to pull off the small town thing and you can only throw tentacles at a Lutheran pastor so many times before it stops being funny so obviously the one you’d want to parody would be the little short daily podcast he does called The Writer’s Almanac where he talks about stuff on this day in history and then reads a poem and ohshitthisisactuallyagoodidea.”

She also claims that it takes place in a “totally fictional world mostly inside my head,” but I’m beginning to wonder if that’s, if not untrue initially, then at least becoming less and less true as time goes by.

Between the Intern Infestation in the garden, and the celebration of The Void’s feast day, I’m beginning to wonder if the Hidden Almanac takes place in the same “universe” as Welcome to Night Vale. If Night Vale is this universe’s typical southwestern desert town, perhaps Rev. Mord broadcasts from a typical New England town (I don’t know why I picture the Rev. broadcasting from New England, but there you are).

So, what do you think of my wild speculation? Think there’s any sense to it? If so, feel free to fanfic it up, and post a link! If not, tell me why — and show your work!

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The Hidden Almanac for 2014-03-14

A happy and blessed Feast of St. Worble to you all!

English: Walrus at Kamogawa Seaworld, Japan

English: Walrus at Kamogawa Seaworld, Japan (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In today’s Hidden Almanac, Rev. Mord told us about some interesting events that occurred on this date in history: in 1479, and ice orchid was presented to the Queen; the burlap drum was invented (no date given); in the Year of Striking, Unspeakable Beer was introduced. In the garden, do not plant tomatoes.

Today’s sponsors were Red Wombat Tea Company, and Hearthstone Extradimensional Scaffolding.

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Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Corpse

This week’s Thrilling Adventure Hour is an episode of Beyond Belief.

Frank and Sadie Doyle, upper-crust mediums (media?) are drinking.  Of course.  Sadie has an emergency — she can’t find her beverage. Frank shares his, then looks forward to making some fancy cocktails. Sadie suggest Bloody Marys, and after they go back and forth on the topic (while standing in front of a mirror they drunkenly confuse for a portrait), they say the phrase enough times that Bloody Mary herself makes an appearance.

Frank questions the logic of myth, but Mary doesn’t really know — she seems to remember drowning her children, but she’s not sure. Anyway, now she scares kids.

Sadie wants to chat with Mary because she likes people named for drinks, and vice-versa, so she agrees to let Mary scare her. She and Frank then exaggeratedly try to sell their fright, buy Mary seems to be buying it, even though they’re sort of laughing their asses off the whole time.

Frank offers Mary a drink, and she is eager to spend time with adults for a change.

After a few drinks, Mary shares some gossip about the young kids she scares, and how much she kind of hates kids in general. Then, drunk, they try to dot he Bloody Mary game — with Mary herself. So it doesn’t really work.

Another slumber party is summoning her, but before she goes, Frank and Sadie suggest a slumber party of their own. They help Mary try to resist the pull, but that results in a group of teenage girls getting pulled into the Doyles’ apartment instead. Everyone, adults and kids alike, want the kids to go back where they came from. But Mary can only do that if she goes with them, and she really doesn’t want to.

The Doyles realize they can invite Mary over any time they want just by saying her name in font of the mirror, so Mary heads off to work.

Frank and Sadie feel victorious over the turn of events, even though they’re not really sure why. Oh well, a happy ending is a happy ending.

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The Hidden Almanac for 2014-03-12

A happy and blessed Festival of Masks to you all!

Picture by George Hodan

In today’s Hidden Almanac, Rev. Mord told us about some interesting events that occurred on this date in history: in 1981, Johnny Stone died under mysterious circumstances; in 1853, typhoid spread in Troyzantium; the Plague Doctor Accords occurred (no date given).

In the garden, common weeds are seeding. Pull them if you can.

Today’s sponsors were Red Wombat Tea Company, and the Skeletal Marlin Fishing Company.

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Wild Speculation: Dana Part 1

In the Welcome to Night Vale episode “Numbers“, two major things happen: Cecil investigates the numbers station, where Fey wishes for freedom (and may or may not be an AI), and Cecil receives an email from Intern Dana.

Français : Vue de la vallée de Dana

Français : Vue de la vallée de Dana (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Personally, I thought Fey and Dana sounded similar; combined with the fact that Dana feels physically drawn to the mountain and may or may not be on another plane of existence, I propose that Fey is Dana.

We know that Dana can interact with the people of Night Vale — she shows up on the radio show sometimes — but that they cannot see or hear her. Is it possible that, rather than Fey being the computer, she is merely sitting at the computer, but Cecil cannot see her? Or, perhaps Dana/Fey is trapped elsewhere, physically, and the computer is just a transmitter, perhaps intended to throw people like Cecil off the scent.

It’s Night Vale, after all.  Perhaps Dana is trapped inside the computer. Why not?

So that’s my wild spec: Dana is Fey. But I actually had an idea that takes it a step further.  But you’ll have to wait a bit for that. In the meantime, do you agree? Disagree? Show your work, but I want to hear your thoughts!

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Numbers

The show opens with a note from creator Joseph Fink (or is it? He has so many voices…) reminding us to check out a live show, and that Welcome to Night Vale will be at Emerald City Comic Con, including a live crossover with Thrilling Adventure Hour. Also, check out the previous live episode, “Condos”, and the fun stuff in the store.*

Cecil reflects on some of the constants in town. There are lights in the sky. The sun rises and sets and usually makes a great noise in the process. And WZZZ, the local numbers station, broadcasts a woman’s voice reading seemingly random numbers.

Except the numbers station changed.

She repeated “41” a few times, and then the numbers stopped.

The numbers resume, in a different format: not numbers at all. Descriptions of nature and reflections on images of freedom.  Is it just me, or does she sound a little like Intern Dana? Anyway, she’s tired of numbers.

The numbers lady is now singing Katy Perry‘s “Roar“.  Badly. So Cecil wants to sing on his show. I approve.

Deutsch: Katy Perry beim Live-Konzert im Postb...

Deutsch: Katy Perry beim Live-Konzert im Postbahnhof in Berlin (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Numbers Lady reveals that she has chosen a new name: Fey. She doesn’t know why she is reading the numbers, just that she is supposed to. And as she says this, she begins reading the numbers again. She decides she needs a car so that she can escape. Then she begins singing fun.’s “We Are Young“.  Badly. Cecil may or may not be sympathizing over her situation.

Cecil breaks out of his own station and heads over to the broadcasting tower that WZZZ uses. There’s a bunker right by it, which he breaks into.  The bunker is empty, except for a computer.

Is Fey the computer? Is the computer Fey?

In other news, Mayor Pamela Winchell had been calling press conferences. She clearly is trying to make the most of the last three months of her term.

Also, Cecil gets an email from Intern Dana, and my eyes narrow at the coincidence. Anyway, she’s trying to avoid the mountain (which I’m not sure is Cecil believes in at this point) and its blinking light. “Trying” seems to be the key word. Don’t forget: running and screaming don’t typically help.

Sometimes Dana finds herself back in Night Vale, but no one can see or hear her. Is she in the station right now?! Dana also reports on the Great Masked Figures, who are getting closer to her. She claims she is not afraid; Cecil thinks she’s lying.

Huh. Apparently the Man in the Tan Jacket also delivered a ranting monologue and I promptly forgot it.  He’s so good at that.

The Weather is Keep It Comin’ by Senim Silla. I liked it well enough, but I don’t think I’ll be hunting down the single on iTunes. I could see it becoming a summer hit or maybe ending up a Zumba routine if it went mainstream.

*Note, I don’t get any kickbacks from these links.  Yet. But if anyone wants to throw me a referral link, I wouldn’t say no…

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