The show opens with a note from creator Joseph Fink (or is it? He has so many voices…) reminding us to check out a live show, and that Welcome to Night Vale will be at Emerald City Comic Con, including a live crossover with Thrilling Adventure Hour. Also, check out the previous live episode, “Condos”, and the fun stuff in the store.*
There is a visitor in Cecil’s studio. He’s not sure what it is, but it’s adorable! Cecil reminds us of Khoshekh, the cat who hovers in the men’s restroom. The new creature won’t drink the water Cecil offers, just stares at him. Its eyes are all black, and there other dots around its face that might also be eyes. It makes cut noises. The creature waddles over to Cecil and lets him pet it. It purrs, sort of. Cecil squees as it hugs him; I am dubious about the nature of the hug. The creature bites Cecil. He runs to the bathroom to clean up, and calls into the show on his cell phone, thanks to some help from Intern Jeremy. The creature tried to follow him into the bathroom. He greets Khoshekh, just as the new creature finally breaks into the men’s room. Cecil hides, and asks Jeremy to call Animal Control and take us to the Weather… just as the creature attacks Khoshekh. Khoshekh gets badly hurt. Cecil kicks the creature, and he and Jeremy hold it down until Animal Control attempts to sedate it — but they can’t, because it’s a machine. Animal control takes Khoshekh to a hospital, but they think he’ll live. There will be less of him, but he’ll live. Cecil is heartbroken, and angry that he can’t get revenge. His new program director, Lauren, wants to know why Cecil destroyed his birthday present. She and Daniel and the rest of the management team got him a StrexPet because he loves animals.
It’s not Cecil’s birthday. But he is determined to avenge Khoshekh.
In the news, controversy plagues the mayoral race. The current frontrunners, you’ll recall, are: the faceless old woman who secretly lives in your home; and Hiram McDaniels, who is literally a five-headed dragon. McDaniels was recently acquitted of insurance fraud, but allegedly possesses a stolen truck. The faceless old woman’s origin is lost to history, and there’s no birth certificate — is she a US citizen?
In traffic, there is a silver pickup truck. A man is inside.He doesn’t remember things. He can, but he doesn’t. He deals only in the present. He doesn’t answer his phone.
On the community calendar: Night Vale Community Theater is holding auditions for Into the Woods. Those auditioning should bring night vision goggles, glass cutters, and ski masks to the bank. The Museum of Forbidden Technologies is opening a new exhibit on thought crimes. Anyone who attends will be arrested immediately. On Friday, the Dark Owl Records staff will be wearing black pants and chain mail veils. Saturday night marks the opening of new restaurant Tourniquet. LaShawn Mason, executive chef, was formerly sous chef for top-rated restaurant Shame. The food will feature a mix of molecular gastronomy and human remains. The prix fixe menu includes and appetizer, entrée, dessert, and an awareness of horrible, previously repressed memories. Sunday is.
Carlos and his team of scientists report about the house that doesn’t exist but seems to. The scientists have been monitoring John Peters, you know, the farmer, who has been standing alone in the house for weeks. The house is otherwise empty, except for various photographs of lighthouses. The scientists finally went up to door, but it was locked. They shook the handle and knocked. John did not answer, but a woman, Cynthia, did. When she opened the door, the room was the same as the one John was standing in, but fully furnished. Cynthia claims she’s lived in the house longer than the housing development has been in existence.
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The weather is “Cover Me Up” by Jason Isbell. It’s pleasant and mellow and not especially strange.
*Note, I don’t get any kickbacks from these links. Yet. But if anyone wants to throw me a referral link, I wouldn’t say no…