Renovations

One of the Joseph Finks advertises the June 4 show (which I’ll be at, yay!). He hypes the US/Canada tour. Recordings of two previous live shows are available for download. New Stuff will be added to the store.*

Ugh, Kevin starts the broadcast. That’s not good. And Lauren is there too, announcing that the Company Picnic is still going strong. And the radio station is being renovated. Including the bathrooms… where floating kittens live. Khoshekh’s babies! Daniel is sent to take pictures and post them online in case anyone is able to adopt them (despite being unable to tear themselves away from the Company Picnic).

Sponsor: Best Buy — conserve your oxygen!

The renovation contractors were sent to tear down the missile silo, several elementary schools, and the forest that’s made of people. It complimented Kevin beckoningly… it never talks to Lauren for some reason. Hmm.

The tiny civilization from the bowling alley was hired as well.  The Arby’s was torn down, and replaced by a one-to-one scale model of said Arby’s.

Financial news: The markets are fantastic, and so are you.  Everything is Awesome, apparently. Lauren sets off a stock market plunge; Kevin is pissed of in an eerily cheerful way.

There’s a picture of a lighthouse in the studio, which Kevin and Lauren find disconcerting.

Pamela Winchell, an old lady, and… what sound like angels have left the picnic and are blocking some contractors. Old Woman Josie and the Erikas! Nice!

Then, the lights go out.  Lauren realizes Daniel is taking too long. There’s someone else in the room. An Angel! Erika! It is holding a light bulb and walking toward the lighthouse picture. The picture changes, and the light is actually blinking.  A door in the picture opens, silhouetting a man holding something that moves. The man enter the lighthouse, and then — the studio door opens! It’s the man from the lighthouse! He is holding a cat! There’s a struggle!

It’s Cecil! Erika brought him here! And now, the weather (“High Tide Rising” by Fox)!

Cecil is happy to be back. He mentions an escape attempt, but that they were captured. But, just as they were giving up hope, Dana appeared through an old oak door, and brought Cecil to the lighthouse where she had been. She introduced him to the Great Masked Figures and the Erikas. Intern Maureen had shown people it was possible to pass between the worlds, and John Peters (you know, the farmer) had figured out how to open the mysterious doors. Old Woman Josie an the angles are in the other world. Cecil has returned Khoshekh to his spot ion the men’s room. Daniel was lying dead (or possibly inoperative) outside the restrooms. Apparently no one told him what happens when you photograph a cat.

StrexCorp still owns everything. Many people are still trapped in the Company Picnic. Lauren and Kevin ran away. Dana and her army stand in the path of StrexCorp’s Smiling God. And no one knows where Carlos is. Oh no!

But Night Vale Radio is once again independent of StrexCorp, and will stay that way!

I really need a fresh cup of tea after that…

*Commonplace books does not appear to have an affiliate system. As such, I’m not getting any kickbacks from them.

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Company Picnic

A guy who I am pretty sure is Joseph Fin but is using a different name advertises the Canada schedule of the Live Tour, so check that out if you’re Canadian, plus some Con appearances — hey, another crossover with Thrilling Adventure Hour! I hope they eventually put that show up for sale. There’s a big live show on June 4 (I’ll be there!), and two previous live shows are available for download.  And! The store will be updating soon!*

Um… that’s not Cecil. And this is… welcome to the Greater Desert Bluffs Metropolitan Area.

StrexCorp has recorded then forgotten everything ever. Efficiency, yay? This is creepy, even by Night Vale standards.  Boo, Lauren! And there’s a guy — its Kevin from Desert Bluffs Radio. Sigh. It’s almost like Desert Bluffs wants to be the Community from The Giver. With a touch of the beginning of The LEGO Movie.

Oh, crap.  Daniel the Producer reports that five scientists were arrested at the house that doesn’t exist. Carlos, no! Wait… they didn’t get Carlos. Well, that’s a relief, but where is he?

Seriously, it’s like I’m waiting for them to break into “Everything Is Awesome.”

StrexCorp is giving everyone a day off for a company picnic. So go.  Now.

GROUP OF MINERS AND THEIR FAMILIES RELAXING AT...

GROUP OF MINERS AND THEIR FAMILIES RELAXING AT THE FIRST ANNUAL COMPANY PICNIC SPONSORED BY THE TENNESSEE… – NARA – 556522 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Community calendar: Work all day Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday through Sunday. Monday is a lie.

The picnic is a success. By StrexCorp standards, in any event. Lauren points out that some people haven’t gotten there yet or who are trying to leave early.  And now we know who those people are.

The election is still on schedule. Yay? Both candidates released statements through StrexCorp toeing the StrexCorp party line. Were they coerced, or did StrexCorp just make these statements up?  Does it matter?

Sponsor: StrexCorp.  Of course.

Traffic: The picnic is crowded, everywhere else should be empty. StrexCorp announced that the picnic will be going on indefinitely. Everyone will live at the picnic now. Yay…

Kevin doesn’t like the equipment in the studio.  He misses his equipment from Desert Bluffs… which, as I recall, were entrails. The Seans in sales helped Kevin out. Um, is the studio now covered with Sean entrails?

Is that supposed to be the Weather? It was just a creepy rumbling.

Oh, there’s an issue at the picnic.  There seems to be some kind of riot. Cupcakes everywhere, volleyball nets getting touched.

Oh, wait, this is the weather: “Stupid” by Brendan MacLean. So what was that other thing?

Kevin prepares to sign off. He assures us that the picnic is going smoothly now. He spouts some more creepy mind-control stuff. Great.

*Ah, still not making anything off these links, with the exception of those that link to Amazon.

  • Parade Day
  • Two Years in Night Vale
  • Uncovered Mirrors: Year Two of Welcome to Night Vale
  • A Story About Them
  • Cookies
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    Parade Day

    One of the Joseph Finks advertising the Live Show I’m going to on June 4 (yay!). Also, The Debate, another live episode, is available for sale now. I did not see this one, so I really should buy it and write about it, shouldn’t I?*

    Cecil warn us to act natural, as in like nature, as in the circle of life.  Yeah.

    A series of one-sided doors have been appearing around town. Accountant Tomas Peres found one in his office. When he opened the door, he saw warriors in a desert hellscape. Dana and her friends?! Photographer Claire Wallace sent in pictures she took of one of the doors. There’s an elderly woman in the picture, and Cecil cannot see her face. The faceless old woman who lives in your home?! I’m doing some of my famous Wild Speculation! Juanita Jefferson, head of a  neighborhood improvement organization, saw a vast wasteland on the other side, some non-existent mountains, and a lighthouse, but no trees.

    Yay, Carlos calls in about the doors! He is at the house that does not exist, where a woman named Cynthia lives. All of the doors have changed to the kind that have been popping up all over town. When the scientists open the door, the house is empty like they expected. but you can’t get out unless someone is on the other side.  One scientist, Rachelle, was stuck inside for several hours, even though it was only a few minutes outside.  Carlos is going to explore! But he’ll be fine! He has his science team.

    Pamela Winchell calls another press conference. She saw one of the doors in her office.  When she opened it, she says she saw and angel. Angels are real! And one of them told Winchell to shut up, and slammed the door on her. Angels are not real after all… but mountains might be.

    It’s Parade Day! Just like the title of this episode! And the parade is not a secret! There might be Morse code in the Disparition music playing in the background! Tamika Flynn will definitely not be there! It’s definitely not a rebelling against StrexCorp! Cecil loves StrexCorp! And should you see Tamika, you should follow her!

    Chart of the Morse code letters and numerals. ...

    Chart of the Morse code letters and numerals. Italiano: Tabella di lettere e numeri in codice Morse. Svenska: En översikt över det internationella morsealfabetet. Français : Lettres et chiffres en code Morse. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    The traffic report seems to mostly be a vehicle (hehe) for more Morse code.

    And the parade is about to begin! Oh, look, Tamika Flynn is in  fact at the parade. Producer Daniel is not happy. Especially since Cecil locked him in the control room. The Parade is at StrexCorp headquarters, and involves yellow helicopters commandeered by Tamika’s middle-school army. StrexCorp security cannot contain the revolution! Cecil is barricading his door and making faces at Daniel.

    And some more Morse code. The Weather was “Take Up Your Spade” by Sara Watkins.

     

    During the weather, the revolutionaries were captured. No one else helped, just watched. It almost sounds like Cecil was the only adult involved. The children were all sent to the juvenile detention facility. Cecil chastises his listeners for not helping.

    Lauren the program director and another man come in, smiling at Cecil. Cecil is terrified.

    As he should be.

     

    *As always, I don’t make any money off these links.

     

     

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    Cookies

    The show opens with a note from creator Joseph Fink (or is it? He has so many voices…) reminding us to check out the previous live episode, “Condos”, and the fun stuff in the store.*

    Cecil is not a good salesman. He likes talking to people, but not to convince them to buy stuff. He prefers just telling stories and letting people interpret them however they want. Still, he is helping his niece  Janice sell Girl Scout cookies. Cecil mentions that Janice’s mom (Cecil’s yet-unnamed sister? It’s good to know Cecil has some family left!) is out of town, and Janice’s stepfather dropped the ball on cookie sales, so Cecil is stepping up to help. Cecil doesn’t seem to like — wait, Steve Carlsberg is Janice’s stepfather? Well, that adds some interesting context to Cecil’s hated of Steve.

    English: VALHALLA, N.Y. (June 9, 2007) –...

    Navy Cargo Handling Battalion 8 assists hundreds of Girl Scouts from Westchester and Putnam counties in New York load more than 33,000 boxes of cookies as part of “Operation Cookie Drop.” U.S. Navy photo by Lt. Lesley Lykins (RELEASED) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    The guys in sales, who are all named Sean, just bought some cookies. Cecil notes that he originally bought all the cookies with his own money, but any proceeds from listener purchases buying are an extra donation to the Girl Scouts — Cecil will not be reimbursing himself. Station Management has not bought any cookies yet. Cecil tries to downplay his anger at Station Management — between the StrexPet and the cookies, Cecil is pissed, and calls out Daniel the Producer.

    Lauren Mallard, the program director, makes an announcement. StrexCorp agreed to buy all the cookies!  Lauren talks up the Girl Scouts, how they help the women of the future, and the StrexCorp of right now. She’s especially (spell check wanted me to fix my mistyped spelling of this word to “despotically,” which is a little too apropos…) interested in finding girls who can earn their helicopter piloting badge, so StrexCorp bought the Night Vale Girl Scouts. Yay? Tamika Flynn had better watch her back…

    Cecil reported the successful sales to Janice, and she’s thrilled. He also insults Steve, while thanking everyone who bought cookies and asking for continued support for the Girl Scouts. He wishes them a fun camping trip, and reminds them to be very careful. Not that they need to hide from enemies. He has no reason to mention that at all!

    (Aside: why does my tea taste like soap? The last cup I had in this mug didn’t taste like soap.  Was my tea imported from Night Vale?)

    Cecil gives us an update on Khoshekh’s health. The cat is on the mend, but he lost his right eye, and is missing part of his front left paw, so he will limp for the rest of his life. The feeding tube is being removed today, and he’s largely fine. There is even a small silver lining in this cloud: now that Khoshekh is no longer floating four feet off the ground, Cecil got to hold him for the first time. Carlos is allergic to cats, but will be taking Claritin, since Khoshekh will be staying at their place while he recovers.

    During the traffic report (spell check wanted to correct my mistyping of “traffic” to “tragic”… hmm…), Cecil sees a flicker of something, and we hear a woman calling Cecil’s name.  Could it be Intern Dana? It is! She is both in the studio and trapped in the desert, as she can travel in space and time. She’s been visiting with John Peters, you know, the farmer, as well as Intern Maureen and members of the army that wanders the desert.  Cecil fills Dana in on her family. Dana says that today is her brother’s 26th birthday, and she got to visit him. When she appeared at the party, the cake said, “Happy 33rd Birthday!” There was a woman at the future party who was the only one not to burst into terrified tears when Dana’s apparition showed up –the woman was Dana herself, in the future! Older Dana calmed everyone down. She disappeared back to the desert before she could find out what happens to herself in the future.  Dana looks forward to being respected, as her older self appears to be.  Cecil gives Dana words of encouragement, and relief that she’ll be back.  But Dana disappears from the studio. As they say goodbye, Cecil asks Dana to say hello to Maureen for him.

    This may invalidate my wild speculation.  Or maybe not!

    The highway department is asking motorists to turn on their headlights and slow down when driving through constructions zones.  Good advice! Even if the construction workers are communicating to terrifying flying saucers that may or may not plan to abduct you.

    The weather is “Haunted” by Maya Kern.

    *Note, I don’t get any kickbacks from these links.  Yet. But if anyone wants to throw me a referral link, I wouldn’t say no…

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